How my infant is making me a better entrepreneur

Babies and entrepreneurs go together like peanut butter and caviar.

Which is to say…they don’t really go together at all.

I launched Fruitful Fertility in the spring of 2017, before I was pregnant and TBH before I thought I’d ever be a mom.

My husband and I struggled with infertility for three years, which prompted the idea for Fruitful — a fertility mentorship matching service that connects those struggling with infertility with a mentor who has been through it firsthand.

In the spring of 2018 I finally gave birth to our daughter, Abigail. She’s funny and sassy and silly and a beam of light and ray of sunshine and every other terrible cliché parents use because they don’t know how to articulate a love this overwhelming and pure. Being a mom has been well worth the wait and the hormone injections and the medical tests and the bills and the tears. Worth it times one million.

But (duh) Abigail’s birth made it harder for me to run Fruitful. Suddenly I had very little free time (shocking, I know). I also started low-key smelling like sour milk, which I don’t think is a selling point to possible business partners.

In those early days, I was finding it hard to focus. I was tired. I was emotionally drained. My nipples hurt. So doing the day-to-day operations that kept the company running, as well as all the bonus go-gettery stuff I normally made time for were both exponentially harder with a newborn.

But now Abigail is 7 months old, and I’ve gotta say, watching the way she observes the world and is finding her place in it has been inspiring and reinvigorating; not just as a mom, but as an entrepreneur. I’ve been learning so much from her and the way she conducts herself on a daily basis.

Here are some of the most admirable qualities my infant daughter displays that I believe also make for successful entrepreneurs…

1. She’s not afraid to try (and fail miserably): Abby is already trying to walk. I mean, she CAN’T walk at 7 months old, but damnit, she’s trying. She’ll let me help her stand up but then will immediately let go of my hands and try to support her own weight. She always falls on her bum. Always. But she tries wholeheartedly and doesn’t care that her legs can’t really support her full body weight yet. She goes for it and she doesn’t get discouraged. She has the best work ethic and attitude I have ever seen. If every entrepreneur had this level of tenacity and determination and fearlessness? Watch out, world.
2. She’s the most confident person I know: Abby’s changing table has a big mirror that hangs above it. Every morning after I change her diaper, she stands up on the table, looks at herself in the mirror and SHRIEKS with delight and approval at her reflection. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and literally screamed with joy at what you saw back? On my BEST day I think, “Not bad, Ash, not bad…” THAT’S ON MY BEST DAY — like post-haircut or something…not at 6:30am on a Tuesday morning. This girl is feelin’ herself every day; she’s unabashedly confident and it’s amazing. Entrepreneurs need to like who they see in the mirror. They need to believe in themselves. Of course there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, but if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
3. She asks for what she needs: Abby is a really easygoing baby. She’s not only pleasant but actively happy about 80% of the time. And the other 20% is when she needs something…a clean diaper, a snack, a hug, a special rendition of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” But she’s not shy about asking for what she needs. She doesn’t say, “Excuse me, mom, when you have a second could you please feed me? I’ll just sit over here and wait patiently until you have a moment.” Nope. She knows damn well that in our house the squeaky wheel gets the blueberry yogurt. This might not be the most endearing trait for children when they get a little older, but in my experience, good leaders and entrepreneurs know how to ask for help or communicate clearly when they need something. They’re not martyrs. They don’t just sit around hoping a fairy godmother will swoop down with a new strategic plan. They ask for what they need and they make it happen.

I think we can all learn a lot professionally from watching how infants and kiddos navigate the world. Primarily, they serve as solid reminders about being more fearless, curious and confident, while being less ego-centric, lazy and passive aggressive.

Am I saying Abigail’s going to be exactly like Emily Weiss or Sara Blakely? No. But if my husband and I do a good parenting job and help prolong her confidence and strength for as long as possible, then maybe she’ll feel like she could be like them if she ever wanted to be.

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This article was originally posted on Medium on November 1, 2018. Photos were taken by the Minneapolis-based photographer, Meg Cooper.